Have you ever caught yourself replaying a conversation over in your head over and over again? Walking through all the different ways you might have responded or the decisions you wish you would have made?
Coming out of those moments, have you ever made yourself a commitment to yourself on how you would handle that situation in the future? I've done this countless times in situations as a leader where I knew what I was saying fell short in the moment.
When we set out to talk about our core messages of courage, authenticity, agency and growth, we needed a way to capture the range of events we were talking about in a way that anchored us back to the the methodology that we were building. When we first started recording the podcasts and building Kristen's USC speech, we anchored the events as part of our journeys. These events ultimately shaped who we are, changing the course of our respective journeys as we passed through them and learned from the experience. Kristen kept coming back to the fact that these events or stops or moments, on the journey mattered in the overall path her life had taken.
These 'Moments that Mattered' as we coined them to describe inflection points that impacted not just where we're going on our journeys, but who we were. We haven't stopped using that since, but haven't taken the time to share how we define them since we largely focus on the substance of the moment.
So, what is a Moment that Matters? Moments that Matter capture all of the moments in the journey, leadership or not, that define and challenge who we are. Points in time in our daily lives that that call us to courage. These moments can be anything, from catching your breath in quiet reflection to career defining wins and losses which dramatically shape your journey. The spectrum is vast and deeply personal. Ultimately, a Moment that Matters is defined by that call to courage and how you respond.
If you let that sink it, it can get pretty heavy really quickly. Every thought, decision, and action that you take could potentially shape and change your journey.
But let's be honest. The reality is that most people don't think in these terms most of the time. In fact, research shows that humans are making about 35,000 decisions a day.
Imagine weighing the consequences of 35,000 decisions each day?
There is no way that we could determine impact of every decision we make. I've tried, much to the bane of my wife who is often trying to cajole me back to reality from the depths of my inner conversations.
How do we spot the Moments that Matter then if we are facing so many decisions every day? We think of this in terms of those moments or decisions that call into question core elements of you you are. That challenge or reinforce key aspects of your values, or that help spark and bring to life new identities. What happens in situations is that there is a kind of tension. Some difference in the value or identity that is noticeable, often though the presentation of an emotion of physical response to the situation.
For those that are familiar with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the next step will sound very familiar. The key to beginning to understand a moment that matters is simply recognizing and acknowledging the tension. And while it may sound simple, it takes a while to become attuned to your personal tensions.
Once you do start to notice them, then you can do something with that awareness. Navigating the complexities of our daily lives and the different identities we hold is essential for our growth. Our Moments that Matter, whether they’re split-second decisions or prolonged periods of challenge, are the crucibles in which our values are tested and our identities are forged.
In embracing these moments, we find the courage to be authentic, exercise our agency, and commit to growth. They shape not only the paths we choose but also the very essence of who we are.
So, as you go about your day, take a moment to pause and reflect. What moments have defined you? And more importantly, how will you honor these moments moving forward?
By becoming more aware of these defining times, we not only appreciate our journeys more deeply but also empower ourselves to take charge of the narrative of our lives. Remember, you have the power to make the moments matter.Â
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